08 February 2010

Silent progress

~some days I make nothing more than silent progress~

One of my favorite blogs is written by the amazing artist Kal Barteski ([i]lovelife – see my Blog Love), the above quote is hers and was part of a painting of a beautiful owl in flight. She happened to be creating her “I Found Wings” gallery show at the same time I was realizing that I have wings of my own. Her words and paintings a perfect complement to the journey I had embarked upon. The above quote came at just the right moment and reminded me that “silent progress” is okay and occurs even if I can’t “hear” it as long as I remain open to the possibilities before me.

I was gently reminded that being open resulted in the afternoon and evening event yesterday and that it was good for me to push past my comfort zone and take part in something different for me. The evening was very nice and while I do not feel a pull to attend the church beyond special events, I did feel genuinely welcomed and surprisingly calm. The music was amazing and worth sitting on an uncomfortable wooden pew for two hours (that brought back memories!) however my body is still protesting my choices today.

Dinner that followed was very nice and while I don't share the same socio-economic status as my companions, it was comfortable and a testament to all three of their belief that all are “created equal” regardless of their standing in society or any surface differences there may be. It was wonderful to hear them talk of their travels and of upcoming plans to venture into foreign lands. I have only been across the Pacific to Hawaii and don’t even have a passport – which I need to get – so my input was the properly timed “ooh” and “ahh” but I think I held my own and was genuinely intrigued by the topics of conversation regardless of my direct participation. It was a good evening and I enjoyed myself in spite of myself.

But the evening would never have happened had I not been open to attending. My immediate reaction when George invited me was to say no and quickly find an excuse that I could use to justify my decision. But I didn’t say no and even though I considered finding a reason to not attend after the initial invitation, I stood true to my commitment and participated in spite of my hesitations and apprehension and that was good, really good. I showed that doubting self of mine that I can do things totally out of my norm and I can do them with people that I would never have imagined spending time with or that would ever want to spend time with me.
All-in-all a pretty good lesson and one I hope to have really learned!
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