30 August 2010

Nudges

I am sincerely trying to push myself out of my comfort zone, not an easy thing for me to do - at all - but I'm doing it. Little nudges - tiny actually - but pushes nonetheless.

I was out both Saturday and Sunday night, entirely different groups and activities but I was out. I was with Ana on Saturday and on my own with some "older" friends on Sunday and I survived both events - again.

I know, I know, it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm actually living through these steps but it is to me and I'm feeling pretty good about it.

And then today, I was asked to submit one of my photos from the recent Lensbaby Photo Walk that I attended. There were very specific parameters within which the photo needed to be sized and submitted but I figured out how to do that, crossed my fingers and sent it in. I received an email back stating that the photo was perfectly submitted and that he thought it was a great photo and great addition to the essay.

WOW! I can't express how high my heart jumped in my chest and the smile has yet to completely leave my lips. Such a simple gift with such deep impact and all because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and attended an event entirely alone then, nudged again and submitted a piece of my art. Pretty amazing.

Am I fearless and ready to go to everything at any time or face every challenge without hesitation? Not quite, but I am gaining strength and my courage - yes, that courage that I begged to show up - is also starting to regularly back me up.

I still feel intense apprehension at the thought of attending anything new or alone but now I have times to refer back to and remember that I did survive before and the chances are very high that I will again!

Flying is still far off, but my wings are getting stronger and fuller and soon they will lift me and take me in the direction of my dreams ... one little push at a time.
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