04 October 2010

Once again

I mentioned in a previous post that I can feel that change is coming. Well, that feeling has not left me, rather it is becoming more intense and I’m really not sure that I like that, in fact I know that I don’t like it at all.

I keep reminding myself of the struggle that a butterfly must endure to make her way out of her cocoon. Or the tightness a flower bud must release in order to blossom fully. Neither example really makes me feel any better but I keep trying.

I’ve had a very difficult few years and my life has changed drastically from what it once was but apparently that is not enough change for me as I know that more is coming my way.

I really dislike change. In fact, I hate change and all that goes along with it and I have learned from experience that sometimes change is not so good on the other side. Sometimes life’s harder and living is tougher so not only do I hate the process itself but I’m rather gun-shy in regards to what’s on the other side.

If I could be guaranteed that everything would be better “over there” then maybe I wouldn’t resist and fear change quite so much. But I know that guarantees are not possible and the process cannot be thwarted just because “I don’t wanna”.

I also know that my resistance can make the changing more difficult, so like the tight rosebud, I must let go in order to fully blossom.

Letting go … for the 12 millionth time …

p.s. This is my 100th post!

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