05 March 2010

Connections


A new friend has recently reminded of the connections we make in this life, those conscious and those on levels beyond human comprehension but all important and critical to the journey we are currently on.


I am blessed with a very special connection with my daughter, Ana – one that defies all rational thinking and sits in the deepest recesses of our souls. She is me and I am her and what we share is unimaginable to most. I am unbelievably blessed that she chose me to be her mother and am honored beyond words that I have been allowed the opportunity to be in this wise, beautiful soul’s world – she is my joy and along with her brother, Luke, my greatest and most undeserving gift. I am equally honored to see this same type of connection between Luke and his fiancee, Ashleigh - must run in the family.


I’m also reminded of a bond I shared and still share with a soul that is no longer in this lifetime. She came to me when I needed her, sacrificed deeply when was necessary and has never left my heart. I still feel her presence beside me, I still randomly see her face, sometimes in that of another, sometimes in my dreams but wherever and whenever, I know she is always with me. I am again so blessed to have been given the chance to share some of this lifetime with her and so grateful that she has chosen to remain with me even after her physical exit from this life.


Connections are important, very important but sometimes they can cause pain. I have had to recreate connections, breaking them and sometimes thankfully rebuilding them, but always feeling them deeply. I’ve had ties that caused too much pain and are virtually no longer and some that will never be anything like they once were. I’ve had those that I thought I would not survive their destruction but have rebuilt and my strength revealed in the process, bonds that are still present but have taken an entirely different form, one that I know will remain.


There are surface connections with acquaintances, coworkers, friends of friends, connections that are real but rarely grow beyond the mundane and everyday part of life. Connections with my family of origin are much like that and while I wish that they would have been different, I’m at peace with where they are now.


Then there are the new connections, like the one I am building now, connections that are there just because we’ve shared similar journey’s and walked very similar paths. I feel abundantly blessed to have this new “virtual” bond and even though great distance separates us physically, there is one of those “other level” connections taking place, that of knowing without actually having been given the opportunity to know. It’s new for me but I'm learning to be open to the unknown!


Finally, there are the connections that have not yet been made – at least in the physical, comprehending world – and those are the ones that I hope for, long for and somewhere deep inside hold onto the belief in. For it’s those that keep me looking to the next day, dreaming of what may be and hoping my heart will find peace and love within.


For now, at this time, in this place, I deeply appreciate the connections that I do have – old and new – for they sustain me and encourage me to keep hoping for more.

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