08 July 2010

Emotion and Decision

I’ve been gathering lists of things that I want in my life, tying to put words to my desires and to also start the process of “putting them out” to the Universe in hopes of them being returned. One of the items I want is relationship with other women as friends and as a lover/partner. In doing this I realize that I need to address some of the details I believe are necessary for these relationships to work. I need to determine what is important to me, what I will and will not accept and what I can and cannot give. One of these things is the concept of commitment.

Commitment is a very real and very important part of relationship to me but it’s something that I’ve been led to believe I see differently than others. Because of that belief I’ve been trying to put words to what commitment is to me, how I perceive my role in it and what I want from another in return. I know that I cannot guarantee that other women will see commitment to friendship and relationship in the same way as I do and I also know that everything is fluid in life and things may change beyond my control but if I am clear about what I want and I can clearly articulate those wants then my chances are higher in creating that part of my life in the way that I desire.

Reading today’s post at www.chookooloonks.com Karen so eloquently put words to the thoughts and beliefs swirling around in my head and heart. The following will become part of my “statement” in regards to commitment in friendship and relationship. Thank you Karen!

“… it's not about loving someone when the adrenaline rush of love disappears or romance fades; it's more about making the decision to love someone when they're having a hard time loving themselves. It's about the commitment you make to not give up on that person, to rush in to help when necessary, but also knowing when to step back, mindfully, watchfully, ready to be there when the time is right. It's a difficult lesson. But I've come to believe love is an emotion and a decision. The trick is to cultivate and care for both.”

Regardless of the outcomes from my past, I still believe in love as an emotion and a decision and that a commitment based upon both can be sustained. I'm willing to commit to the work, knowing that the emotion will ebb and flow but my decision will remain firm.

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